英语达人进!帮我看看有没有语法错误~The thing I most cherish is this bracelet.My parents brought it to me from Shanghai.This bracelet is made of silver,it is not very expensive.When I got this bracelet,I felt so happy ,because it is the

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英语达人进!帮我看看有没有语法错误~The thing I most cherish is this bracelet.My parents brought it to me from Shanghai.This bracelet is made of silver,it is not very expensive.When I got this bracelet,I felt so happy ,because it is the

英语达人进!帮我看看有没有语法错误~The thing I most cherish is this bracelet.My parents brought it to me from Shanghai.This bracelet is made of silver,it is not very expensive.When I got this bracelet,I felt so happy ,because it is the
英语达人进!帮我看看有没有语法错误~
The thing I most cherish is this bracelet.My parents brought it to me from Shanghai.This bracelet is made of silver,it is not very expensive.When I got this bracelet,I felt so happy ,because it is the first time that my parents have bought the jewelry to me.I love my parents,I love my family.

英语达人进!帮我看看有没有语法错误~The thing I most cherish is this bracelet.My parents brought it to me from Shanghai.This bracelet is made of silver,it is not very expensive.When I got this bracelet,I felt so happy ,because it is the
This bracelet is made of silver,(yet) it is not very expensive. 缺连词
When I (received) this bracelet,I felt so happy ,because it (was) the first time that my parents have bought (a) jewelry to me. 注意时态和单复数
(Therefore) I love my parents. 毋须重复,且增加连贯性
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This bracelet is made of silver, it is not very expensive.这是俩句子中间加and.
I love my parents,I love my family.同上
你的时态有点乱,最好换统一的过去式

The thing I most cherish is this bracelet.My parents brought it to me from Shanghai.This bracelet is made of silver, but(加but) it is not very expensive. When I got this bracelet,I felt so happy .Becau...

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The thing I most cherish is this bracelet.My parents brought it to me from Shanghai.This bracelet is made of silver, but(加but) it is not very expensive. When I got this bracelet,I felt so happy .Because it is the first time that my parents have bought the jewelry for me(to改for).I love my parents.(改句号)I love my family.
手镯是银的,但是不是很贵。这里应该含有转折的意味,加上后意思也更为通顺。

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